Monday, July 16, 2012

Male sexual problems, how to understand them and fix them

There are a growing number of men that have sexual problems, from not being able to maintain an erection, rapid ejaculation, and areas of performance anxiety.  Some are health related but most are mental. 
The basic biological function of the penis is to have an erection long enough to penetrate, ejaculate and procreate that is the easy part. Most sexual problems are not biological but psychological concerning sexual emotions, intelligence and performance of the sexual act rather than just the function of the orgasm.  As a man matures this becomes the case even more, where once a quick race to orgasm was the most important function, now it is the ability to be a good lover and the sexual experience itself.

As men age the time it takes to get an erection and maintain an erection can become a problem and this is a twofold situation.  As a man ages the blood takes longer to fill the penis, the other aspect is the anxiety that sets in with some men as not being able to maintain an erection or it taking so much longer to get fully erect.  Stress is the biggest killer of a good erection.  The testosterone drops in men as they age, so the thoughts that once were overrun by the animal instinct to just have sex, now gets over ridden with the anxiety and stress from day to day living.  Men have more sexual issues than women because they are not able to hide a flaccid penis, or one that ejaculates quickly, or a penis that never orgasms.  Everything is out in the open when it comes to male sexual problems.

More men than women have fetishes and sexual patterns that they have developed over the years.  One pattern that can create a problem is masturbation for a period of years without a partner done the same way overtime.  Another issue is watching porn to get off instead of using their imagination or even some nude magazines.  Excessive porn can increase desensitation and when a man does get into a relationship with a woman trying to stop the pattern of watching porn can become a real issue.

How to fix the male sexual problems:

There are a few recommendations that can help.  One of the best ways to help maintain an erection and to break the sexual pattern that may develop is to masturbate differently.  A simple trick is to switch hands while masturbating; this will change the sensation and hopefully over time make it so that the erection stays longer.  Another helpful hint is to decrease the porn and use other sexual stimulation like magazines, books and imagination to masturbate to.  When getting into a sexual relationship with a woman, learn to communicate about sex; take it slow so that the anxiety does not take over.  For more advanced sexual issues contact a sex counselor in the field of clinical sexology.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Having sex with a man that is not able to maintain an erection

A common question that men ask me in my practice as a clinical sexologist is “I lost my erection during sex is that a psychological or health related issue”.  The answer is a little more complicated than that because age plays a factor in that equation as well.  A man in his early twenties, thirties and into his forties, who has never really experienced problems with getting an erection, may find this to slowly be a problem as he ages.  Once this happens as a man ages, he may begin to worry about it, creating preformance anxiety. 

Most problems with maintaining erections are psychological, but can be based in a medical or physical place to start with.  As men age with the stress of the economy, kids, possible divorce, health issues,dating again, it can have a direct affect on his libido and performance.  He may be too exhausted, fatigued or anxious to get fully aroused or have his penis function on command.  This is all normal and for the most part it will pass, but what becomes the underling problem for some men is the anxiety surrounding it, which then leads into the performance problem.  This then leads the man to go to the doctor for a prescription for Viagra.

The Viagra can work with some men to boost their confidence enough over time, to get over the performance anxiety but with other men it does not.  Prolonged problems with erections are best to be dealt with by a trained professional in the field of clinical sexology (sex therapy).  The reason why a sex therapist is the best form of help is that they have a vast knowledge of sexual health related information, treatment solutions, proven techniques and trining in the area of human sexuality from a psychologicall standpoint.  There are other methods beside Viagra to help with erection problems.  Other methods include: Penis injunction  penis pump, natural pills, creams and simple techniques to get blood to the penis.  If the man is with a partner, she can use the techniques and help get his erection back in full swing.  Once he builds his confidence back up and understands all of his options then if it does lose his erection from time to time he will know what to do.  The perform anxiety will lesson and then he can enjoy a healthy sex life.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Future of Dating

Where has the dating age taken us, with cyber dating at an all time high people are coming up with new ideas on how not to meet.  The dating avatar is the newest creation in online dating, meet avatar to avatar.  This may be a fun way to play and pass the time, but the reality of the situation is that attraction is not only mental but very much based on chemical attraction.

The scent of a person, the chemistry, pheromones, play a part in the mating process.  A woman can smell her biological mate, if she understands the process.  Men even though smell and physical appearance is important, for a woman smelling her mate before getting too emotionally involved is a powerful tool in attraction.

Cyber dating, can create a temporary unreality, and then upon meeting many woman will fall into a sense of commitment even though they are not chemically attracted.   Getting to know someone for a bit over the Internet is a great idea, but venturing into avatar relationships, sexual talk, and skype sexing, will never truly give a woman the "scent of a man".

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Natural supplements that boost sexual health

Make Positive and Noticeable Changes to Your Body, Mind, Heart and Sexual health

We all want to live healthier and happier lives, but sometimes our diet and lifestyles do not easily support this.  Omega Daily.

Taking suppliments such as Omega Daily can replenish the body of fluid along with a good intake of water. These are not the average capsules for those who want a cure all. Instead, they are a very highly specialized blend of nutrition that is designed to create a major boost for the body.  Many people, quite a few of them not even advanced in years, suffer from joint pain caused by the hard surfaces that our world is composed of these days. These joint pains can put a major damper on our ability to not just move about freely, but to really enjoy our lives and our sex lives. The splicing and pain inducing inflammation can make walking miserable and reduce the amount of exercise that we are willing to do. This has an instant and continual negative effect on our sexual health. With the potent anti inflammatory power of Omega Daily's pill formula we can get results that are going to not just take away the pain in our body, but improve our emotional state as well.
The core concept behind Omega Daily is approaching the body as a whole system in and of itself which needs many different kinds of support. .

Omega 3 is well known to be an excellent source of premium health improvement power, but few people are able to take in enough. By improving upon what nature has given us, the Omega daily pills are able to bring in this essential fatty acid to our body chemistry without causing any sort of negative side effect and still raise the level of Omega 3 we are able to process.

The results of this truly proven Miracle of the Sea are bound to increase the wellness of any who have discovered it and this is exactly why it has gained such a strong reputation so
For more information, go to

Replenishes the bodies natural system, providing the energy for greater sexual health.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Sexy sex in the afternoon

What a crazy title to think about sex in the afternoon, but that is exactly what I am suggestioning.  To make love in the afternoon, welcome the change.  Many couples who fall into the rut of having sex at night or in the morning can learn to appreciate a fun romp in the afternoon.  Sexy sex in the afternoon is only really sexy when it becomes a special treat.  Having fun with sex in any relationship will make the bond between the couple more intimate.  Why not take the afternoon off of work to come home to amazing hot sex.

I often tell people to do just that, have hot sex in the afternoon.  It is just as important as sleep, food and water, why deny the body that natural release. 

For more sex tips go to The Happy Spouse.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Sensual secrets of the yoni empowering women in the area of sexuality

As a sex educator, therapist and writer, I am an avid reader of books pertaining to human sexuality.  
One of my personal favorites is, “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” by Sheri Winston.  In her book she talks about a woman’s vulva (vagina) yoni in a way that is empowering, beautiful and inspiring.  As a sex educator and sex toy advocate I enjoy weaving the two together to help women have better sex in their lives.
One of the ways in which a woman can feel more comfortable about her body, masturbation, and sexual intimacy is to love herself all of herself.  This love involves understanding that her yoni or vulva is special, sacred and that she has a choice when and who to share it with. 
This past weekend I did a sex toy education party for some young ladies at Occidental College, who had just done the play Vagina Monologues… I found the experience as a sex therapist rather than just an educator or "sex toy salesperson" to be more of an awaking for young women, to understand that they are in control off their sexuality.  Women through television, culture,  parenting are often taught to be please others, make them happy even at their own expense, when it comes to sex this happens more often than not.
One of my favorite pieces of information to share with women is “The Goddess Guide” which explains to women that their yoni is sacred, and if they don’t want to have sex then they have the right to say no.  The other part of the class was to explain the workings of the vagina itself, when women gets aroused it is more than her vagina getting wet, for her to be ready for intercourse.  In fact if a woman is not physically ready to have intercourse then it can hurt, and not feel comfortable.  The vulva takes time to engorge with blood, become full, wet and the vagina itself to dilate and grow to accommodate a penis.
Educating women is empowering women, but in reality where do they get this type of education from. Sex education class hardly offers this vital information….that is why I promote the sex positive people out there trying to make a different.  Associations like AASECT, SSSS, IPSA, Dr. Patti Britton, Creative Sexuality , Tamar (sex surrogate) and sex counselors like myself Dawn Michael For more information on sex positive associations contact

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Tickle my tush book review by Dawn Michael

Awesome, accurate, acceptable, anticipation and all about anal. 
Dr. Sadie Allison you did a great job writing your book about a touchy taboo topic.  Not to touchy for me to go there, and my oh my, if I had not already experienced the pleasure of the A spot after reading this book I most certainly would.  Being a clinical sexologist myself, marriage counselor, writer and sex educator, I will most defiantly recommend this book to my clients.
Tickle my tush, “cute title by the way”, and it eases you into the subject with great verbal lubrication.  What I really liked about the book was the sex positive view that Dr. Sadie took on anal play.  She explained in great length about allowing your partner, spouse, lover to be intimate with you in a way that involves complete trust.  For both men and women anal play can be the next level of sexuality shared in a very intimate loving and erotic way.
Dr. Sadie in her book Tickle my tush not only gives her clinical knowledge on how to have safe comfortable anal sex but the psychological aspect as well.  She goes into to great lengths to describe the feelings associated with anal intercourse, position and the mighty anal orgasm.
One of the points that Dr. Sadie makes in her book is about anal in porn. She states “don’t let porn be your teacher” Dr. Sadie gives information about how it may look but not real facts “in porn you go in fast and strong” but that is not true at all.   Porn actors prepare for hours to get ready to have anal penetration scenes long before the camera starts, some even the night before.  I myself did an interview with Porn Star Jessica drake from Wicked pictures,  she is a sex positive educator as well, having her own instructionals on anal play, to find out her information on the subject. 
One of the questions that I asked her was "how can we as sex educators let people know about real anal penetration in porn."  She talked about the preparing that she does for an anal scene, and believe me it is not push it in and WOW, but hours of prep.
One of the other areas of interest that I loved in this book was the talk of orgasms.   Dr. Sadie describing the intensity of an orgasm during anal sex.  The O and the A meet for a very powerful anal orgasmic experience.
 Dr. Sadie also touched upon the use of a strap on dildo for use by a man or a woman.  As a women what better way to get to know your man better than to strap on a dildo and tickle his ass cheeks…
I give Dr. Sadie an A on this book.  A must read for anyone that is interested in experiencing anal play the healthy way!

To have your book reviewed by Dawn Michael go to

Popular Posts