Sunday, February 26, 2012

Tickle my tush book review by Dawn Michael

Awesome, accurate, acceptable, anticipation and all about anal. 
Dr. Sadie Allison you did a great job writing your book about a touchy taboo topic.  Not to touchy for me to go there, and my oh my, if I had not already experienced the pleasure of the A spot after reading this book I most certainly would.  Being a clinical sexologist myself, marriage counselor, writer and sex educator, I will most defiantly recommend this book to my clients.
Tickle my tush, “cute title by the way”, and it eases you into the subject with great verbal lubrication.  What I really liked about the book was the sex positive view that Dr. Sadie took on anal play.  She explained in great length about allowing your partner, spouse, lover to be intimate with you in a way that involves complete trust.  For both men and women anal play can be the next level of sexuality shared in a very intimate loving and erotic way.
Dr. Sadie in her book Tickle my tush not only gives her clinical knowledge on how to have safe comfortable anal sex but the psychological aspect as well.  She goes into to great lengths to describe the feelings associated with anal intercourse, position and the mighty anal orgasm.
One of the points that Dr. Sadie makes in her book is about anal in porn. She states “don’t let porn be your teacher” Dr. Sadie gives information about how it may look but not real facts “in porn you go in fast and strong” but that is not true at all.   Porn actors prepare for hours to get ready to have anal penetration scenes long before the camera starts, some even the night before.  I myself did an interview with Porn Star Jessica drake from Wicked pictures,  she is a sex positive educator as well, having her own instructionals on anal play, to find out her information on the subject. 
One of the questions that I asked her was "how can we as sex educators let people know about real anal penetration in porn."  She talked about the preparing that she does for an anal scene, and believe me it is not push it in and WOW, but hours of prep.
One of the other areas of interest that I loved in this book was the talk of orgasms.   Dr. Sadie describing the intensity of an orgasm during anal sex.  The O and the A meet for a very powerful anal orgasmic experience.
 Dr. Sadie also touched upon the use of a strap on dildo for use by a man or a woman.  As a women what better way to get to know your man better than to strap on a dildo and tickle his ass cheeks…
I give Dr. Sadie an A on this book.  A must read for anyone that is interested in experiencing anal play the healthy way!

To have your book reviewed by Dawn Michael go to http://www.thehappyspouse.com/

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Couples that see each other all of time compromise their sex lives

In this day and age of technology, where two people work at home, see each other all of the time and have no space…..destroy their sex lives!!! 

We are all animals, when it comes down to true sexuality, seeing your partner all of the time, having no time to miss them or long for them destroys the sexuality in the relationship. 

Marriage and divorce are at an all time high, and it is not just that the economy is bad, it is that couples see each other too much.  Creating distance in a relationship is a good thing, missing your partner, longing for them is healthy. 

When sex is available all of the time, for many couples it can get boring…taking time to be apart and thinking about the other person can add excitement back to the relationship.

If you do work at home together with your partner there are things that you can do to create distance:  Take your computer to a coffee shop several times a week to work….take time to go with friends in the evening…..go on vacations without your partner….move out of the house for awhile (it is less expensive than a divorce) time apart does make the heart grow fonder if the heart is still in love…if it is not then leave, life is to short!  You want to have a great sex life then make it happen…



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Learn how to have better sex in your marriage

Sex is an important part of marriage, but also one of the first areas that goes to the waste side when a couple is having problems.  Maintaining a healthy sex life is one way that a couple can stay connected to one another.  Many times when the relationship gets tough from added stressors in life, it can affect the couple’s sex life.  The solution is to make sex a priority, taking the time to work on the sexual intimacy in the relationship will help strengthen the bond between husband and wife.

As a sex therapist I work with my clients to help them better communicate and be more comfortable talking about sex with one another.  Communication is the key to working on the sex in the marriage, talking to one another about sex rather then keeping it in and getting frustrated.  It is not uncommon for couples that have been married for awhile to still feel embarrassed talking about sex.  What happens is that they just over time expect their partner to know how to please them, but bodies change over time, along with sex drive, age and life changes.  What may have been a sexual turn on in the beginning of the marriage is no longer a turn on.  The couple does not want to express this to their partner, for fear of hurting their feeling or thinking that there is something wrong with them.

Sexual intimacy is a deeper connection to your partner, learning to be open, loving and free from constraints will help the love grow and keep the sex hot, who doesn’t want to have great sex in their life.

For Sex Therapy contact Dawn Michael (805) 732-7847 or email dawnmichael40@yahoo.com

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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Getting help for your sexless marriage

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As a sex therapist and marriage counselor, one of the most difficult problems that I deal with my clients is them opening up to their spouse about sex.  Communication surrounding sex in marriage is one of the subjects that couple skate around, and still feel shy talking about.   

Sexual intimacy is what couples end up missing when the sex is no longer fulfilling in a relationship.  Have great sex together, can releases hormones in the body that bring the couple closer together.  Sex is a natural part of being human, but when that is taken out of a person’s life, it is not replaceable. 

Not having regular enjoyable sex with your spouse can lead to over eating, drug problems, drinking, cheating, depression, loneliness, and low self esteem.  Sexual intimacy is what happens when the couple connects on a physical and mental level; this cannot be achieved with out the “sex” in the relationship.

Couples that have enjoyable frequent sex together are less likely to end in divorce or cheat.  There is a closeness that shows in couples that have passionate intimate sex, they appear to be more connected.

To get help for your sexual problems in your relationship get it from experiences counselors like me.  We are trained not only in marriage therapy but human sexuality finding solutions to sexual problems in marriage.  I help couples to feel more comfortable talking about sex in marriage.  We go over how to improve sex and do home assignments that can bring the couple closer together on an intimate level.

For an appointment call Dawn Michael M.A. (805) 732-7847 or visit me on my website www.thehappyspouse.com
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Monday, October 31, 2011

Learn How to Give Women What they REALLY want

You know, there really is no great mystery or puzzle to solve when it comes to answering the question, what do women really want in bed.

Some websites claim it’s all about the size of your penis, while others say it’s the thickness that counts. Some proclaim they have just the pill you can take to increase performance, while others assure that their cream will make you just the kind of man she wants. But really there is only one ingredient that a real woman wants in her man and that is ‘confidence.’

There is nothing quite like being in the arms of a man who knows what to do, how to do it, and what exactly will turn her on. It really doesn’t matter how tall you are, how good looking you are, or even how much money you have in the bank, but if you don’t know how to make a woman feel like you know exactly what you are doing, then you are lost even before you make eye contact.

Now when talking confidence, we are not talking arrogance, or dominance, or just macho-ness – we are just talking men who are confident in their abilities and that can be subtle but women know it’s there. It’s all in the attitude, and it simply means, don’t worry, I can do this. In bed, a woman wants to know that her man knows exactly what he is doing and even though she may take a turn being the boss from time to time, it’s really up to the man to call the shots and shine where he can shine the best.

So really no matter what the size or shape of your penis, if you have confidence, and know great techniques and are not afraid to just take charge, your woman will feel safe and secure and trust you to know exactly what to do to give her the most pleasure possible. And we all know that pleasuring our women is more than half the fun, because if she is really pleasured then she will be way more willing to do what we want her to do to pleasure us. Now that sounds like a win-win doesn’t it?

But how do you instil this sense of confidence in yourself if you just don’t have it? Well a great place to start is to purchase the For Men Only CD™. Attitude is half the battle and with a good attitude you have a head start. Following the advice and exercise routines laid out in this CD will give you increased knowledge about your penis, it will increase the size of your penis, it will instill more confidence in what to do with your penis and all of that combined with a few secret tips on how to pleasure your woman and you are so on your way down the path of more fun in the bedroom than you have ever had before. The bottom line is this – do whatever you can to increase your confidence inside and outside the bedroom. Take a few risks, challenge yourself and all that will happen will be an increase in your own self esteem and with that you can take on the world. But start by making your woman happier and the rest is a piece of cake.
For more information, go to ErectionFitness.com
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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Male sexuality, what all women need to know about their man?

One of my favorite topics to talk about on my radio show is male sexuality because it is so diverse and interesting.

 As a sex counselor I help men from around the world with various sexual issues and I have learned from each of my clients something new.  There is no such thing as a” know it all” in the business of human sexuality.   I am always learning something new from my male clients, whether it’s a new sexual fetish, way they get turned on or even their basic lack of knowledgeable about their own body and mind when it comes to sex.  One of the books that I am reviewing today is “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D.  It is worth reading for both men and women.

One of the issues that he tackles in his book is about men in our society today and what the idea of masculinity is all about.  How does a man define himself in western society where he is expected to be a man but also have all the emotions of a woman?    Dr. Zilbergled goes into the truth about men, sex, and pleasure.  He also talks about ten destructive myths that men have surrounding sex.  One of the Myths is “A man is always interested and ready for sex”.  I want to point this one out in particular because this myth leads to many men having sexual anxiety surrounding sex, which we all know, then leads to problems with erectile dysfunction, “getting the penis to do it job on command”.   Myth #8, which is “sexual intercourse” and the pressure that it puts on sexual intercourse as the “main focus of the sexual experience.”    This is especially a problem when a man does have a problem with getting an erection, to have to always be focused on intercourse as the main goal of love making.

Another part about the book that I would like to touch upon and agree with is sexual response in men.  Sexual response was coined by Masters and Johnson as divided into four stages:  Excitement, platue, orgasm and resolution.  Kinsey came up with another study that I agree with Dr. zilbergeld on and that is “There is nothing more characteristic of sexual response that the fact that it is not the same in any two individuals”

Men’s sexual issues are so varied that there really is no “normal” way to go about sexual response and it does differ form man to man.  A sexual response is when you receive some kind of sexual stimulation and it can be:  Touch smell, sight, fantasy, fetish, whatever that erotic charge may be.  The increased volume of blood is pumped into various parts of the body including, the penis, the lips, earlobes, and breast.

 As a man ages the blood flow is not as fast and therefor the sexual response is not as fast.  Many men around the age of sixty have the repeated question of, “if their penis is not working the same or is slower to rise”.  The reason is because of the blood flow to the body is slower.   Male sexuality is three dimensional and unlocking the secrets of your man’s own unique sexual response will make for better; love making.
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sex Coaching book review by Dawn Michael

This week I am reviewing a book by Dr. Patti Britton called The Art of Sex Coaching, expanding your practice.

If you have ever wanted to know about what sex coaching is this book has all of the answers. This is a wonderful educational book for the person who wants to get into the field of sex coaching but also for the layperson who is just looking for answers to better sex. This book does an excellent job explaining the art of sex coaching and how it differs from regular therapy and why it may work for you.

The section of the book for couples and their common sexual concerns and resolutions was very informative and gave a detailed description of eight common couples concerns, with explanations and true stories.

The list of couples most common concerns:
1. Little or no sex in the relationship
2. Aversion to touch or misplaced touch communication
3. Conflict's about desire uneven desire
4. Conducting values about monogamy/affairs
5. Performance skills deficit
6. Body image issues
7. Communication style conflicts
8. Negotiation skills deficit

For any couple that is struggling with their sex life this is a must read and of course for any clinician wanting to use this book as part of their practice it makes for a necessary addition to their library.

If you want Dawn Michael to do a book review for you please e-mail her at dawn@thehappyspouse.com
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